somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
