What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
