I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
mondays should just be called national damage control day
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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