Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
