i love accidental penises.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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