She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
