is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
