Grow some girl-balls and come out already
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
