i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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