He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Sorry about my life...
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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