dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
