it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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