It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
