To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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