we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
