We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Randomize
