There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
