I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
