And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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