I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
