it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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