You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
