Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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