on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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