we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
