So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
