ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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