garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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