She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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