butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
