Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
