my sisters under your porch take her home
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
