I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
