you guys were way drunker than both of me
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
