I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
