I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
