you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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