Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
