Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
