well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
