He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
