just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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