So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
