How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
don't judge my taste in strippers
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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