ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Come see our sink grown plant.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
