There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
