I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
We don't watch enough power rangers
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
