So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
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