Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
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