he puts the penis in happiness.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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