Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
