i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
