I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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