i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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