conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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