I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
