don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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