found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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