Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
