nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
